LOOK AT YOURSELF AFTER WATCHING THIS.mp4

Quotes!

I often search the net for valuable or meaningful quotes given any situation. Last night I came up with a few of my own. They may not be 'professional' or 'good' or 'funny' or even 'enlightening' but it was a fun process! Here are a few:


"The greatest therapy I have experienced in my life, is arranging and manipulating musical notes together and then playing them in sequence. They tend to form a more coherent understand of one's circumstances. And, they don't have to be 'good', they just have to 'be'."

"Your fingers are sore? The best cure is to keep playing! Remember video game controller thumb? Yeah, neither do I...or, that Captain Crunch chewed up the roof of your mouth...?"
(If you know what I'm talking about on both these references, I want to give you a hug!)

"Oh...it's 3:00 in the morning? Should I stop playing?"

"They made violin cases for three reasons: 1) violins 2) semi-automatic weapons & 3) cat naps."

"I want to say, "Hi", to that violist over there, but, I don't speak Alto clef..."

"One of the greatest gifts from God is music. Even the Devil cannot compete with what is created from His children's souls."

"God gave me a lot of talent. He gave EVERYONE a lot of talent. Personally, I just have to listen to Him and figure out what He wants me to do with mine. What will you do with yours?"

"The violin is a very sexy instrument." (Complete quote below - Not for the faint of heart! You have been warned!)

"The violin is a very sexy instrument. What other instrument can...snapping your G-string, rosining your bow, counting your measures, plucking your strings, tuning your pegs, hitting your octave, staying in tune, never being sharp, never being flat, always being natural, making your chin rest comfortable, adjusting your shoulder rest, playing with the fingerboard, touching the belly, keeping your wrist aligned, strengthening your hand, strengthening your arm, minding your fingering, tightening your bow, playing with vibrato, crossing strings, double-stops, repeats, re-stringing your instrument, holding a fermata, breathing on a rest, feeling the beat, strumming, touching your scroll, adjusting the bridge, turning your fine-tuners, touching the tailpiece, and playing with your f-hole...sound so naughty?"


Where is your mind?


~Kris Van Pelt

What is yours? Mine is mine. Let's share!

I am feeling very philosophical this morning and I've been having a fantastic night talking out my thoughts with the walls and with God. It's a good morning to be alive. Here is just one of my conversations:

Can't figure out what your 'specialty' or 'gift' from God is? You know, the gifts that God has given you; the talent He has possessed in you for His purposes? Neither can I. I just go where I am lead and where I think I should go. And, unfortunately, most of the time, where I want to go. I know that God is leading me there, or, at the very least, waiting for me there. If my specialty is only in a smile to a friend or a stranger, then so be it. If it is only in listening to you when you are in need, then so be it. If it is only in following you to help support you with your desires, then so be it. If it is only in helping to lead you to calmer waters where we can be surrounded with peace, then so be it. If it is only in planting that seed, not sowing it, or even watching it grow, then so be it. It matters not what we want our gifts to be. It matters only what we do with what we already have and what we have already been given.

If you are reading this, then you have been, or are a part of my life (and always will be, truthfully) even if just for a little while. Know that your specialty is greater and grander than you and I will ever know. So is my own. Walk with me, talk with me, sing with me, dance with me, love with me, work with me, play with me, laugh with me, cry with me, pray with me. I love you. And so does He.

What will you do with what you have today? I can't say I know the answer, or that I will even be a good example for anyone to follow. But, I will endure, and I will succeed. I will follow His love and discover, someday soon, His plan for me.

Ritardando

I just realized that I've only done one post a month since I've started. Hmmm. My blog doesn't look like what I want it to look like...that's part of it. You could probably guess the other part. That's okay, though. I aim to post more frequently from now on. Well, off to work. It's been another interesting week among the embers. It's been a fantastic day playing music among the sparks!

Like I could shut off my mind if I wanted to...

Sitting at work tonight thinking. The television is on, a client is asleep on the couch in the living room, and the others are asleep in their respective rooms. I've been asked before why I like the fact that working the graveyard shift in a group home for mentally disabled adults is something I like sharing. I'm sure it's just a self-gratifying and selfish reason, but when I tell people (strangers mostly) what my job is, they are either afraid of it and don't know what to say, or they think highly of me. It's such a nice feeling after having worked jobs in retail and customer service over the phone. People with 'normal' circumstances are seemingly so easily forgetful of the blessings in their life. And, yes, I do include myself in that equation. While I don't blame people for being frustrated that the gas pumps are not pumping gas quickly enough for them, or frustrated that their television receivers are not working correctly, I do not miss the manner in which most people (not all) talked down to me or treated their television service as having higher priority than their own children.

I have had people tell me that I should get another job right away; I don't get paid enough for what I deal with and there is a greater risk of communicable diseases like MRSA and Heb B than with 'normal' jobs. I agree that the pay is pathetic for taking care of the well-being of six human souls while they sleep, but there are other perks that have kept me where I am, for the time being. I have gotten free medical care for TB and Hep B and have received free medical training, including CPR certification and a Facility Assistance with Medication certification that is good for the rest of my life in the state of Idaho. Not to mention that I am allowed to eat whatever is reasonable on my shifts, and that has drastically reduced the cost of my grocery bills. I also love being awake during the witching hour, although nothing significant ever happens even though the house I work at is supossedly haunted. I'm a night owl by nature (or maybe subconscience choice) and I love the nighttime better than the daytime, anyway. There's something about the dark that makes me feel at ease and safe, like a soft blanket enveloping, hiding and protecting me from the harsh openness of daylight. It makes the universe appear to feel smaller than it is, and helps me to put things in my life into perspective.  

There are several downsides to my job of course, too. Like the cost of gas getting to and from work each day, and feeling underappreciated, but, as it stands now, the pros are outweighing the cons.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned so far working here, is that it doesn't matter what your lot in life is; everyone has the same wants and needs. People just have different abilities on how to obtain them.       

When The Universe Tries to Get Your Attention...

I can still remember the dream as if it happened yesterday. This is the first dream I have ever died in and I can still remember how it felt when the blade of the knife pierced through my mouth and through the back of my throat, pinning me to closet door.

At least it wasn't as painful as I thought something like that would be, but there was a lot of blood and a lot of choking for air. I was still fully aware of my surroundings and aware of how deeply it felt to be powerless to do anything about it. Then, the blackness came.

In this dream, I was a bodyguard for a mob boss' daughter. We were in a house on the ground floor. I can still remember exactly what that house looked like and could even draw a picture of it. In fact, I think I will. I am still shaken up about the dream, even though it happened about five months ago, and maybe seeing it put down on paper will help me feel like I have some control or power over what happened.

I don't know the name of the girl I was protecting, but we were talking in the foyer/kitchen area. Suddenly, there was a knock at the back patio sliding glass doors. We knew something wasn't right so we took off to a small living area at the front of the house by the front door. I glanced at the back patio doors briefly before running with the girl into that room. There was a woman dressed in a UPS uniform with a package. The blinds on the back doors were shut and so I only got a glimpse of the woman as she was trying to peek in.

I have no idea why we thought hiding in that open room was best option, but I think it had something to do with the element of surprise. There was silence for a beat and then I heard the sliding glass door beginning to open. Of course that door wasn't locked! Or was it? The woman in the UPS uniform called out to us that she had a package that was addressed to the girl. I don't remember if I said to just leave it outside or not. Then, there was silence. A long silence.

I did what horror movie characters should never do. I peeked my head around the corner of the wall and, almost as if it was in slow motion, I saw the kitchen knife flying through the air straight at me with the woman standing behind it in my line of vision. There was not enough time to act or move out of the way. The knife went through my mouth and throat and pinned me to the closet door. The girl I was sworn to protect tried to run. It was then that I blacked out, choking on my own blood.

My husband's phone rang at that moment and woke us both up. I think it was about 3:00 in the morning. His good friend, that he had known since Junior High, whom he also played music with, had called. My husband took the call into the living room and had about an hour long conversation. This didn't bother me except for the fact that my husband doesn't realize how loud he can talk, and kept me up for that hour. I wouldn't have cared too much, but I had to get up in about another hour to go to work. My husband talked about wanting to play and write music with his friend again, and that he would like to take a trip down to his friend's city to visit for about a week. Then I got to thinking:

Why would I have such a vivid dream like the one I had just had, it being the first dream I have ever experienced in which I actually died in? Was there a connection between the dream and the person who called? All signs were pointing to yes. Since music is the number one priority in my husband's life, and his music buddy called out of the blue at a random hour, what was the Universe trying to tell me? To my dismay, the Universe was letting me know that my husband's views (whether he knows them or not) about his music and myself could not co-exist. This leads me to believe that my husband feels deep down that I will either be in the way, get in the way or hold him back somehow with his dreams in where he wants to go with his music.

This is when everything that has lead up to this moment, really started to heat up.